Saying Goodbye
by bothlightanddarkness
Summary: "I just like to talk to Sora. Even if it's on paper." Kairi uses letters as a means to cope with her grief. Post KH3. Sokai soraxkairi
1. Gone

_Post KH3_

"_I just like talking to Sora. Even if it's on paper."_

* * *

Sora,

The world is dark and cold and unforgiving. I did not realize that until it took you from me.

Everything around me feels…empty. The world is quiet without the sound of your laughter in the trees. The waves do not hit the shore with the same intensity as they did when you were around to listen. The sunset is not as vibrant without your eyes to see it.

In a letter I once wrote you, I said that there was no heart your smile could not reach. I wish it could reach mine now.

There is a stillness in the air. It feels like everyone is holding their breath waiting for you to come back. You were the glue that held all of us together and now we're just falling apart. What are we supposed to do without you? It doesn't seem like anyone knows where to go next from here.

You would. You would tell us to follow our hearts and trust where they take us. But how can our hearts lead us when they're broken?

I don't even know why I'm writing this letter. You'll never get a chance to read it. Not that you ever got to read any of the other letters I wrote you.

I should have let you read them. Now it's too late.

I'm trying to remain hopeful. I'm trying to tell myself that I will see you again. It's just hard to convince myself when I used to feel you in everything I did and now I don't. Your touch is gone. Your voice is gone. Your spirit is gone.

You are gone.


	2. Angry

Sora,

I've heard that time is supposed to heal everything. But maybe there are just things in life that cannot be healed. I think losing you is one of those things.

In the time that has passed in your absence, I have felt tired, I have felt hurt, I have felt broken. I thought I had gone through every emotion one could possibly feel after losing someone.

But now, I feel angry.

I'm angry at myself.

I'm angry at the others.

I'm angry at the universe.

I'm angry at fate.

And I'm angry at you.

I'm angry that you believed my life was worth more than yours. I'm angry that you made the decision that I will have to live the rest of forever without you. I'm angry that you knew the consequences and the risks that came with saving me and you did it anyway. I'm angry at you for leaving. And I'm angry at you for not coming back.

I'm angry that my feelings for you are only intensifying the pain I feel without you. I'm angry that I love you and never told you. I'm angry I will never hear it back.

I'm angry that you will never know peace. I'm angry that you will never come home. I'm angry that you won't grow old with Riku and I on the Islands like you wanted.

Most importantly, I'm angry that you deserved happiness more than anyone else and this is what you got instead.


	3. Time

Sora,

I find myself wondering if time passes the same where you are.

Are you aware of the countless hours, minutes, and seconds that have passed since you were last with us? Has it been six months for you, too?

Six months…gone.

I know. I can't really believe it either.

Time whirls past in a blur, but don't worry. You haven't missed anything. Nothing has changed. Xehanort has not returned. Kingdom Hearts remains untouched. The worlds are at peace. Our friends are home and safe.

But that doesn't mean they are happy. None of us are.

We miss you, Sora. We miss you more with each lost second. Each moment that passes without you.

Your journeys have kept you away for longer before, but that was different. Memories of you had been wiped from my mind, but my heart never lost its connection to yours. Even when I could not remember your name or your face, I still knew that you would make it home.

Now, I do not have that same confidence. I've searched my heart endlessly since you left, but you're no longer there. Our connection is gone. Like the months. And like you.

I would tell you to come home soon, but I don't think you will.


End file.
